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Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself

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joke. [May. 7th, 2010|10:40 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
What is this crazy energy?

You know when you feel you fucked up but its all in your head and you're just spinning around past words...revolving and reminding you of past mistakes, that little voz en tu cabeza preguntando y reganando...que la regasteeee. Its like taking a bullet in slow motion, the rebound taking a little longer than you expected.

Do you ever wonder where thoughts come from? Thoughts, emotions...its all in your head, were in charge of our own heads but were always taught to take someone else's opinions and orders. Take ownership of yourself.

Clau, take ownership of your self.
Nevermind trying to obtain
anything externally.

Youre full of shit foo!
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Sunshine [May. 1st, 2010|03:16 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself

like Jill Scotts freedom.

Lessons of the year:
1) Don't give your power away; don't go out of your way for a false image of "love" or completion.

2)"Accidents" make us open our eyes to see the reality of our own structures. Many times the imbalance we may perceive was there long before any accident.

3) Being selfish and being selfless are synonymous.
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(no subject) [Mar. 10th, 2010|01:34 am]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
hmmm. doom or opportunity?

Holy shit this just got crazy.
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love relapse. [Feb. 25th, 2010|12:34 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
art takes time. i'm not gonna get much sleep the next few months.
about to enter dissection territory.

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Heart. [Feb. 19th, 2010|12:28 am]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself

You never know what L.A. means until you leave it.
There's nothing in this world like being there, driving in your car on a freeway at night with the windows
down bumping loud ass music you love...on the way to some random adventure that's your excuse to just drive.

L.A. has heart.
Like the ladies selling corn and champurrado after church,
the men selling minutas (raspados for those who are salvi-impaired),
the birthday parties in the park because you don't have enough space in your house for all the PROLE, but can't afford a salón,
the piñatas,
9 year old birthday parties with DJ's,
the callejones,
the Grand Central Market,
Echo Park,
MacArthur Park,
the 10 year olds walking home from school,
the middle school kids taking the 11 bus from Virgil Middle to Temple + Bonnie Brae,
all the Central Americans filling up the Ocha Thai food restaurant on Vermont and 8th,
the panaderias blowing sweet puffs of olfactory heaven onto smoggy streets,
the vendedores de hot dogs in Echo Park,
the Mayan and dancing and sweating everything away into a Friday night,
the MEN!
the WOMEN!
the teatros, the free shows,
the Culture Clash,
all the beautiful people of Los Angeles...
the brown skin that is proud, yet humble.
the brown skin that gets up at dawn and returns at night, to keep America looking perfect,
and of course....
my Salvis.

L.A. has heart. I miss you.


(Fuck Beverly Hills, fuck Malibu, fuck Manhattan Beach, and fuck UCLA!)
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Premios [Feb. 18th, 2010|11:32 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
I'm having one of those time periods in which i have a steady flow of ideas for creative projects in the future. Then i start realizing, damn it! I need a lot of money for many of those projects. Then I start thinking of a plan to make money, and that straight up does not correlate with my other desire to study medicine. Damn it, damn it, damn it!
This is the stupidest I've ever felt! It's like I am disabled from making battle plans.
I need to read.

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Ash Wednesday [Feb. 17th, 2010|10:02 am]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
A year ago today, I got a call from Luis while I was on the bus to class, overlooking the west side of Santa Cruz.
I'm going to remember that moment for a long time, because it defined the day Mark crossed over.
I was 12 when we moved to Baldwin Park, right next to his house. He was probably 7 or 8 years old at the time, with his dog Cinnamon (who is still alive). One of the first things I remember him saying was to watch out for the black widows everywhere, because they had poison that could kill you! Always the know-it-all.

Freakin Mark! I miss our room-to-room jam sessions. I hope your spirit is diving deep into people and initiating growth; keep doing it. I never got to tell you this in person but I freakin love you!


At the foot of the mountain; making my way up again.
Drinking a lot of water, eating a lot of fruit and veggies. Cutting the crap.
Read a lot more! Read a science article every day.
Being more active! My goal: get fit so that I can go rock climbing by the end of this year :).

I didn't even realize I never wrote down my new year's resolutions!:

1) Complete my first play.
2) Find the space between art and science.
3) Continue growing as an artist.
4) Continue growing as a student of science.
5) Obtain financial stability.
6) Push my body! Get Fit!
7) Be grounded in my family and roots.
8) Cope with stress without substances or herbs. :)
9) Teach.
10) Research Grad schools and Med schools and Cuba.
11) Love!


February 10-17
CAPRICORN (Dec. 21-Jan. 20): Whatever it is you hope for, radiate it with Love from your ajna (third eye) center. This is where love streams forth. Then new life will take root expressed as harmony, beauty and peace (a process). Your love (no matter what happens) eases disharmony and conflict when abruptly arising. You do remember that Harmony comes after conflict and chaos, yes? So the higher level of harmony can come forth.
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magnetic pull [Feb. 10th, 2010|04:09 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
something is definitely beginning to change.
very long electric waves must be leaving my brain because they're beginning to come back,
along with new electric waves.
my mind has been calling certain people, and they're being answered.
what is it? if i could pick a color for the electricity, it would probably be hazel or honey-color.

Yesterday was spent in really good company. My friend Alex picked me up and we went to eat crepes
and to Coit Tower, where you can see all of San Francisco. It was such a beautiful walk, cold breeze in my face. My mind was in the clouds the whole day. He dropped me off at home and I was hungry again so i made myself a sandwich.
This sandwich came out exactly how I made them when I was like 7. My tia would always ask me to make sandwiches for her because she loved how I made them. SO i got caught up in this memory of her and decided
to call her to see how/what she's up to. It turned into almost an hour of laughing our asses off together. It started off like this:


Que onda tia?

--Puuchica vos que milagro!...Nada vos aqui en la casa. Que onda que me contas?

Pues le estoy llamando porque acabo de hacer un sandwich y me quedo como los que hacia antes cuando estaba chiquita...y me acorde que a usted siempre le gustaron mis sandwiches!

--Ay si, que ricos! Y vos siempre me decias "Usted solo quiere que yo lo haga porque no lo quiere hacer usted!" Jajaja. Pero no, es que de verdad me gustaban. Asi me decia la Lesly tambien, que yo solo queria ella hiciera el cafe por no hacerlo yo. Jajaja pero a la Lesly le queda rico el cafe!

Ayyy siiii a mi me gusta como ella hace el cafe y el arroz...es que ese arroz a saber que le hace que nunca me puede salir asi. No pero yo se que usted siempre me apoyo con mi comida ! Jajaja

--Ya sabes! Pues si y que onda con el trabajo?


Man, there is nothing in this world like a conversation with my Tia. It's the purest, hardest laughter I ever laugh.
That is power. That they can do that to me, to all of our family. Smile pure.

_____________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ ____ _ __

Since my recent work with Teatro involves showcasing the voices and stories of women, one of the questions I asked the cast was if they could define, in their own words and by their own experience, what a woman is.

The real question for me is: if you leave out fertility, maternity and the possession of a uterus, what really defines the essence of a woman in a non-physiological perspective? How can we culturally define
the role of a woman in contemporary society, in the "developed" and "undeveloped" worlds?

The more time progresses, the more medical advancements that are getting closer to making procreation possible without a woman. Is the progression of science and technology slowly leading us into a gender-less world?

I'm going to have to do some research.

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(no subject) [Feb. 7th, 2010|08:56 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
digging into my mother, feels like the process of changing from theatre spectator to theatre creator.
Sometimes when you get behind red curtains you realize the not-so magical infrastructure of creating
platformed worlds.
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like a spoon dipping in hot chocolate. [Feb. 6th, 2010|01:21 pm]
Uplift Someone Else Higher Than Yourself
Planning the next few years of my life brings up so many conflicting desires; the main obstacle of this task is the thought of "enclosed time". I begin to wonder about what happens after a certain age, and will I be too old?
There are two very clearly defined paths.
Right now I'm siting in the crotch of that fork trying to decide which way to go first. The left or the right? Maybe zooming out would be helpful, being able to see the path beyond the turn. I think more than anything it's not left or right, it's Which one goes first? At the core of myself I already know my decision, but all the while my other self is arguing, demanding to know why I made that choice and make me think about the people it will affect. Ultimately, the person most affected is me.

It's extremely hard to realize i've been so wasteful with my time the past few years. It is disgusting. I think about how many things I could be doing right now, how colorful my life could have been by now. But then I look around me and I realize my life is pretty damn colorful anyway, and I continue, because of course shit can always improve. The only way I can keep my mind at ease is by convincing myself that this is the way it was supposed to happen. Ass backwards!

In this path of thought I've also learned more about the nature of how human beings go about life. We are taught about the "rules of living" since our first day here. The knowledge of our Choice isn't given to us until we've reached far into our development. I feel like the society before us decided it was permissible to have a choice at 18, but many go way beyond 18 until they realize the responsibility to make choices. Some of us realize what Choice is at an early age and take it. They stop acting to please adults and start being adults; making their own choices.
Some of us have a little bit of both.
And some of us never even realize we have a choice.

I feel like we've labeled the word Adult on age, when really, you become an adult when you realize you have a choice.

"When you start feeling like a prisoner, you need to start finding a way to escape."
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